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No Word from Gurb

by Eduardo Mendoza

The habits and lifestyle of people in foreign countries take some getting used to and even when you have worked them out don't always seem sane. For our hero from another planet this is doubly the case. I have more sympathy for him than for the citizens and officials of Barcelona on this evidence! May well appeal to fans of Monty Python.

Extract

19.15 Been on the ceiling for an hour now, and the mastiff looks neither tried nor bored. Try hypnotizing it, but its brain is so elementary that there is hardly any difference between it being awake or asleep. Only succeed with great difficulty in making it squint, which means it no longer looks so menacing, but twice as ugly.
20.15 Two hours on the ceiling and this sonofabitch is still growling at me. In the end it is bound to get bored and go off to sleep somewhere, but I am worried at the idea that my neighbour might come back before this and find a Hindu stuck to her ceiling.
Translated by Nick Caistor

Parallels

How to be an Alien by George Mikes
E.T.: the extra-terrestrial - the film
 

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