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Me

by Garrison Keillor

Jimmy (Big Boy) Valente, wrestler and Vietnam hero relates his rise to wealth, fame and state governorship. Hilarious and weird!

Extract

You can get overconfident in a tank, though. You sit there at the controls feeling impregnable and you forget there are Walruses in the world who know how to operate a can opener. I waited for the T-54 to roll abreast of me and stop and I set a charge in his treads and pressed the magic twanger and ducked and tank rose as if on a hydraulic lift and when he came down he had the mobility of a dog turd. One moment a deadly tool of destruction and the next, a lawn mower.
 

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